Is It Sweet Like Honey?

Freedom is something entirely else for me. I am a queer woman from a country with
war. I don’t want to be dramatic. But nothing is close to being free for me, my
family, friends, or my country. But I want to taste it. Is it sweet like honey? Is it beautiful?
Is it like heaven?
I always have thoughts about death more often these days. Are we already dead and in
hell? Why do we have to say violent things all the time?
Or is it another dimension of heaven?
Being gay is sinful, they said. But what about their sin?
Has God forgiven me? For swearing “Motherfucker” to the dictator, for wishing death, for
saying “I am free” as a lie. But can I not say I am free or carefree because it is sunny
today?
By the way, do you believe in reincarnation? Yes, we do believe in reincarnation. But in
our country, we often say, don’t ever reincarnate again in Myanmar as it is hell.
We often dance, drink, get drunk, and drink a little bit more. Not because we are happy
but because if we stop, we might start crying for many things. The first death was the
hardest. Then, we became kind of numb. Is it also a sin?
But let’s get back to freedom. Is it sweet like honey? Is it beautiful? Is it like heaven?
I am now free because today, it is sunny. But it is fictional, isn't it? So, in a sense of fiction,
it is not true.